Today, Tues., Feb. 2, Groundhog Day, and, my hubby's b-day, I biked as far as Stanton, MO, right around one of the most celebrated Route 66 sites, Meramec Caverns. This would put me around 54 miles west of St. Louis. According to everything I've read, Meramec Caverns is one of the most "enjoyable and charming roadside attractions along the entire Mother Road." They charge 20 bucks to get in. A bit hefty, don't you think? Apparently, these caves have been Jesse James' hideout, saltpeter mines, dancehalls, and have held craft shows, chamber of commerce meetings and Easter Sunrise services. Still, I would definately shell out the money and check the place out. As long as there is a gift shop, I can endure anything.
Before I forget, there are some more folks I want on my moon mission: The Jonas Brothers, and, anyone who has ever danced in Michael Flatley's River Dance. Let them try to do that shit in low gravity.
It looks like I will be trekking across Missouri for the better part of February, so my musings will become weirder than usual. In fact, I would like to comment on President Obama's State of the Union address this past week. He continually refers to "Americans" meaning, we all know, citizens of the United States of America. But aren't Canadians Americans? Mexicans? Columbian's? Peruvian's? Argentinians? This frosts my nuts.
Another problem I am having lately is this obsession with cake on television. There seem to be about 10 programs devoted to cake baking. Ace of Cakes, Cake Disasters, Cake Boss, Cake Challenges, on and on, ad naseum. Here is my list of cakes that would be worth getting baked:
1. A fully loaded cat litter box cake
2. A cross-section of a colonoscopy cake
3. A Jerry Springer Cake (all entries must include an obese woman in spandex, with a camel toe, a bony-ass redneck with a doggy leash, and, a primordial dwarf)
Heading for Rolla.
Before I forget, there are some more folks I want on my moon mission: The Jonas Brothers, and, anyone who has ever danced in Michael Flatley's River Dance. Let them try to do that shit in low gravity.
It looks like I will be trekking across Missouri for the better part of February, so my musings will become weirder than usual. In fact, I would like to comment on President Obama's State of the Union address this past week. He continually refers to "Americans" meaning, we all know, citizens of the United States of America. But aren't Canadians Americans? Mexicans? Columbian's? Peruvian's? Argentinians? This frosts my nuts.
Another problem I am having lately is this obsession with cake on television. There seem to be about 10 programs devoted to cake baking. Ace of Cakes, Cake Disasters, Cake Boss, Cake Challenges, on and on, ad naseum. Here is my list of cakes that would be worth getting baked:
1. A fully loaded cat litter box cake
2. A cross-section of a colonoscopy cake
3. A Jerry Springer Cake (all entries must include an obese woman in spandex, with a camel toe, a bony-ass redneck with a doggy leash, and, a primordial dwarf)
Heading for Rolla.
The million cake shows follow the 2 million bride shows. I admit I am vulnerable to being hypnotized into a stupor by Bridezillas and even Say Yes to the Dress. The trick is, there is no break between shows. They run & run & run into each other for about 5 hours on some Sundays. I'm not proud of it, but there it is. I cannot pick my butt up off of any piece of furniture. Except for Platinum Brides. That show makes me suicidal.
ReplyDeleteAs for cakes, I'd like to see a Maury Povich Baby Daddy Double Helix cake. Complete with howling babies, sharpie eyebrows and automatic ejection chairs for the folks on stage. You could have one cake each for "You ARE the father" & "You are NOT the father", sub categories pink and blue.
A Jane Velez Mitchell cake would be a towering - but wobbly - red, angry cake that shrieks and flashes the exploding "War on Women" graphic with AA anniversary chips ornamentation.
I think we have a cake show here: Pastry Interpretations of TV Shows & Diagnostic Procedures.
A Forensic Files cake would be awesome.
We do have a cake show. Perhaps our pilot episode might focus on dwarves (primordial and other), midgets, and all of the other "little people?" Then we could work our way up to the fattest people in the world cakes using ten-pound hunks of chocolate for nipples.
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